Forever Reckless Read online

  “How are things going on with all of your men?” She asks.

  “Better, William calls me every day. And Adrian, that’s over.”

  “Are you okay with that?” She pries deeper.

  “I think Adrian and I were great as friends but we shouldn’t have taken it further. William is another story.”

  “Care to tell me?”

  “He’s different when it’s just us.”

  “Go on, I’m intrigued.”

  “You never fooled around with him at all?” She shakes her head no. “He’s the complete opposite of what I thought he would be. And his personality is back. I thought he was stuck up after we graduated but he’s different. He’s… William.”

  “Do I want to know? Do you actually have feelings for him or is this lust?”

  “It doesn’t matter. We’ll never know.”

  “Don’t say that. If you have feelings for him then just tell him! Things aren’t going to go well for him and Rachel. She already knows about you.”

  “They broke-up,” I tell her. Her mouth grows into a wide smile. “Normal people don’t smile when they find out someone broke-up. You need help.”

  “They do if it’s their best friend’s soul mate involved!”

  “If we’re going to continue this conversation we need to have ground rules, like don’t say ‘soul mate.’”

  “So, what happened? By the way, I haven’t heard all the details of the visit!” She smiles, tucking her legs under her.

  I look around the living room, sighing. I get comfortable on the couch because I know she won’t let me go without knowing everything. “He broke-up with her.”

  “Oh, he loves you!”

  “We aren’t even together. Don’t say that,” I twist my face in disgust.

  “He broke-up with his girlfriend for you, you went to see him, and you came back single?” Her brows furrow.

  “We’re just friends, he just broke-up with his girlfriend,” I remind her.

  “Just friends?” She snorts. “Friends don’t have sex.”

  “We didn’t have sex!”

  She brings her fingers to her temples, massaging her head. “I’m so confused.”

  “Stop being dramatic.”

  “Are you two going to date?”

  “Maybe, Audrey! If we dated, you’ll be the first one to know.”

  “I need a drink,” she says, walking from the room.

  “Bring me one!” When she walks back, minutes later, she hands me a glass of wine and reclaims her seat. “So, what about Kellen?”

  “We’re going out Friday,” she says, sighing.

  “Friday? Like Valentine’s Day, that Friday?”

  “No, this Friday, he called me and we agreed to go out.”

  I tilt my head back and laugh. “This Friday is Valentine’s Day! You’re dating again, don’t deny it.”

  “So, when are you seeing William again?” She asks, changing the subject.

  My smile falters. “I don’t know we didn’t talk about it.”

  “To our pathetic love lives,” she says as she clinks her glass to mine.

  “And may we have our shit together next year,” I add.

  She smiles and I try to return it. After this conversation I feel uncertain. We didn’t make plans to see each other again; he didn’t even make a move. The distance between us prevents me from asking, I can’t jump on a plane just to ask when we can go on an actual date. The reality of us working out is unlikely.

  Chapter Six

  I stand, scowling at the flowers Kellen gave Audrey. Valentine's Day, I sigh. This day never bothered me; I never gave it any thought until William Chase got under my skin. I always viewed William as boring and predictable. I entered into his life blindly, without considering the feelings he would leave me with.

  Adrian asked me on a date tonight but I dodged him. I haven’t replied to any of his recent texts, and William is to blame for that. Something inside of us shifted after the first night we spent together. I’ve spent months unsuccessfully attempting to stay away from him. If only he could see that I’m no good for him.

  The doorbell rings, I walk to the door and open it to reveal Adrian. I force a smile, waiting for an explanation. He walks past me and takes a seat in the middle of the couch, leaving a small space for me.

  “What do you want, Adrian?” I ask, breaking the growing tension in the room.

  “I needed to see you.” He looks down at his hands. “You didn’t answer my texts,” he continues. “Look, I told you I would give you a few days to think last week. I stopped by and Audrey told me you were in New York..." I nod my head, confirming his unasked question.

  “I’m ignoring you so you show up at my house?”

  “Well, when you say it like that…” When his face twists into a scowl, I laugh.

  He reaches his hand to my face; my reaction is to jerk from his touch. He tucks a lock behind my ear and leans in to kiss me. It’s familiar, he tastes the same, he feels the same, and…nothing. I feel nothing.

  His mouth moves against mine as he deepens the kiss. He tugs off my sweater, leaving me standing in a tank and jeans. His hands run down my backside, cuffing me. Seconds pass and I grow bored, all I see is William. I know I can’t give Adrian the relationship he wants or the closure he craves.

  I brace my hands against his shoulders, gently pushing him away. His expression is unreadable. “No, we can’t do this,” I tell him.

  “Why?” I shake my head, “Tell me why!” He demands.

  “This is about him! Isn’t it?” He asks. I stand to walk away, but he blocks my way.

  “I’m not having this discussion with you.” I shake my head, meeting his glare.

  “C’mon Liv, you owe me an explanation.” He shifts his weight, his eyes apologetic.

  “Fine!” I throw my hands up and fall back on the couch. “Yes, it’s about him.”

  His teeth clench, his jaw working underneath. “It’s about me, also,” I say.

  “Liv,” he pleads. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he lowers his head. “You started fucking while you were both in a relationship. Do you actually think you can be with him after that?” His condescending voice has me seething. He hit a nerve. All guilt and remorse evaporated as the words tumbled from his mouth.

  “Before I go…” He hesitates, “How long did it last?”

  “A month.” He nods, taking in the details I gave him.

  I stand, this time he allows me to pass. I walk to the door and nod in its direction, he walks past me. He turns to look at me one more time, his face is apologetic. Our silent exchange is closure. He needed to move on, and I needed to let my guilt go.

  “See ya around,” he says. I watch him walk to his car and out of my life. My heart sags with sadness and relief. I weep for my first boyfriend and our ruined friendship.

  I walk to the cabinet where my friend, Jack waits for me. I grab a glass, sweet and sour mix and pour my drink. I take a seat on the couch, thankful that I won’t have any interruptions. When I begin searching through channels, my phone rings, Kellen’s name appears on the screen.

  “Hey, I need to run a couple things by you,” he says.

  “I’m all ears.”I flip through channels, partially ignoring the conversation.

  “I wanna take Audrey on a trip for her birthday.”

  “I think she would like that,” I say, Taking a sip form my drink and welcoming the burn.

  “I want to take you and William, too.”

  “Okay…” Why?

  “Give me some ideas.”

  “Cabo!” Audrey and I planned to take a trip to Cabo a few years ago, but I caught a virus and we cancelled our trip.

  “Done,” he says.

  “Oh and… make sure my room has two beds.”

  “I think you’re past playing coy,” he laughs.

  “Humor me,” I deadpan.

  “One more thing... I need help picking out a ring.” His nonchalant tone makes me think he’s joking.
“Hello?”

  “I know the exact one she wants. I’ll send you the link,” I finally tell him.

  “Awesome! Thanks, Liv!”

  “Do you think she’ll say yes?” I ask.

  “She better fucking say yes,” he laughs.

  I end the call, shocked and surprised that my best friend is getting engaged. I remember the day we were walking while visiting New York. Audrey stopped in her tracks, drooling over the ring in the window. I teased her, but she assured me she was just admiring it with no interest of being engaged. I saw the look in her eye that day and without a doubt, she’ll say yes.

  ⇟

  “Done!” I exclaim as I zip the suitcase. I drag Audrey’s suitcase to my room, leaving it beside my unpack bag. The door bell rings, I check my reflection before running downstairs to let him in.

  “Hello gorgeous,” he says, grinning. His blonde hair is combed down, lying on his forehead. His jeans are faded and the casual green shirt makes his blue eyes pop. The boyish version of him brings a grin to my face. Slowly I see him shifting to the guy I knew years ago.

  “Come in.” I push the door wider as he passes by. He sneaks a kiss and slides his bag from his shoulders, leaving it in the foyer. “Everything you need for the weekend fits in that bag?” I ask.

  “I had to leave my night cream and hair dryer behind. Small sacrifices,” he deadpans.

  “Shut up. C’mon, I still have to pack.” I walk up the stairs.

  “Liv, seriously? We’re leaving in the morning!” He groans, slowly following me.

  “You complaining is taking time from me packing,” I say, smiling. He stomps up the stairs, taking two at a time. Before I realize what’s happening, I’m thrown in the air and over his shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” I squeal as he runs down the hall with me on his shoulder. He tosses me on the bed and grabs my bag.

  “You’re wasting precious packing time.” He points to my bag, laughing.

  I roll my eyes as I walk into my closet. Minutes later I walk out with two hands full of clothes, swim suits, and shoes. Folding them and placing them neatly in my suitcase.

  “On second thought, put everything up. This is all you need,” he says. He dangles my leopard bikini in my face. I snatch it from him and place it in the bag and zip it before he can find anything else.

  “You’re so immature,” I say.

  I place my bag beside Audrey’s. William is laid out across my bed, looking at the reality show I left on. “I’ll never understand how you watch this,” he says.

  I sit by him as his phone goes off. He pats his pockets and glances at my table. “Hand me my phone.”

  I grab it, shamelessly looking at the screen. Rachel’s name appears, with an annoying three beside it. “Rachel texted you, three times,” I say, tossing it at him.

  “It’s hot when you get jealous.”

  I seethe, “I don’t even know what’s going on with you! Are you with her?”

  “No!” He shakes his head, realizing how pissed I am. He hands me his phone but I refuse to take it. “She wants to come by and get her stuff from Henson.”

  “I’m not going through your phone! I refuse to be that girl! If I have to look in your phone, we shouldn’t be together.”

  “You’re overreacting!” He shifts, sitting on his knees. “Just look!”

  I press my lips in a hard line, and snatch the phone from his hands. I look at the last text messages, two of them are asking when she can come get her things from work, but the last one sets me off.

  I guess you’re busy with her.

  While I have the phone, I swipe up, looking through the texts. He hasn’t responded to the texts, and yet they still piss me off. Every mention of my name makes my blood boil. From the rants, to the name calling, and an apologetic I love you, I can’t take it. I give his phone back as I fume. He doesn’t respond, so I can’t be mad at him. Truthfully, I don’t know why I’m mad. We made her bitter and I deserve to be called names.

  I narrow my eyes at him as he types on his phone. When he finishes, he holds his phone to my face and reads it out loud. “I’ll be out until Tuesday. I’m going with her to Cabo.”

  “Jesus, that was kind of rude.” I give him a displeasing look.

  “I’m getting tired of what she says about you,” he says in defense. “Wait, I thought you were mad!”

  “I am.”

  “I graduated with a four point oh, I run a company at twenty three years old… But when I’m around you, I’m the biggest idiot on the planet.” I laugh and he smiles. “I’m so confused.”

  “Me too.” I check the time on my phone, it shows past nine. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we have to get up early. I’m taking a shower and going to bed.”

  He agrees. After my shower I climb into bed. This time tomorrow we’ll be in Cabo. I grin with excitement, waiting for sleep to come.

  Chapter Seven

  The cool evening breeze greets me when I step on the balcony. My eyes lock on the beautiful ocean, the rock structure, and the party that’s happening below me. I raise my margarita to my mouth, grinning. Tonight is the night. My best friend is getting engaged on a beach in Cabo. I sip on my margarita until I hear footsteps. I turn to find William. His dark-blonde hair is a tousled mess. He’s traded his formal attire for khaki shorts and sandals. A sight I never imagined.

  “Ready?” He asks. I nod my head and follow him in the room.

  My tan pumps are waiting for a good time, I slip them on and I do one last mirror check. I apply one more coat of gloss, smack my lips together and walk toward the door. He’s standing with his hand outstretched, waiting for me.

  He wastes no time slipping his arm around my waist, pulling me close. “Beautiful,” he mutters.

  He peppers my jaw with kisses, finally bringing his soft lips to mine. His tongue slips in my mouth to caresses mine. My hands reach to the back of his head, pressing him closer. A kiss is never enough with him. I need our connection to last. I crave the closeness of him. He pulls back, leaving me breathless.

  “We’re going to be late,” he whispers in my ear, nipping while he talks. I nod, not being able to find my voice.

  “What are we doing?” He asks, looking deep into my eyes.

  “Kissing.” I reward him with a quick peck on the lips. I step away from his touch to walk to the door.

  “You know what I mean,” he sighs.

  “I don’t want to waste the weekend labeling our relationship.” I reach my hand toward him. He scowls, but accepts.

  “I want to talk about it,” he says and I roll my eyes. “As soon as we leave.”

  “I don’t know what I want…” I say and he cuts me off.

  “Don’t waste the weekend.” His smile is patronizing. I playfully smack his arm, laughing.

  He catches the first cab in sight. The moon illuminates over the water and quiet town, we approach downtown, the traffic is dense but the few cars we see are reckless. Thankfully the restaurant is a short commute from the resort. William entwines our fingers and helps me from the cab. We walk inside to find out table on the patio set and ready for us.

  “Drinks?” The small, middle aged waitress asks us. Her accent is rich.

  We order waters, and a bottle of tequila to be delivered when Audrey arrives. My eyes linger over the sea of patrons that fill the restaurant—families, couples, and a table of loud, partying Americans.

  William taps my leg; I turn to give him my attention. His hands cup my face, bringing my mouth to his. The kiss is slow and passionate, different from the lustful kisses we shared months ago. They represent what I want, but I’m not sure I’m able to have.

  “I have this weekend with you. You may decide when we get back you want to end this… Whatever we have, I’m making every second worth our time,” he says.

  “I’m not girlfriend material,” I say.

  “Where’s this coming from?” His features morph into concern, the v between his brows forms.


  “You saw what I did to Adrian.” I glance down at my hands. “What my dad does to my mom…”

  “I did the same,” he reminds me and I grin.

  “Was that supposed to help?” I ask, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Two cheating assholes in a relationship,” I laugh.

  “That won’t happen to us, Liv, I won’t let it.”

  He slips his hands around mine, laying them in my lap. I glance away from his hard stare, I don’t know what I would do if I looked into his pleading eyes. He leans over to whisper in my ear and I lower my head. A shadow casts over the table; I look up to find Kellen and Audrey with glows on their faces.

  “How was the walk?” I ask. William shifts, leaning back to his seat.

  “Nothing special happened.” She lifts her left hand, raking it through her hair. The large diamond catching light as she does this, I jump from my chair and squeeze her.

  “We’re celebrating. Americans celebrate with champagne but we’re in Mexico so we celebrate with Tequila.” I tell Audrey, she rolls her eyes.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” William asks.

  “I think it’s the best idea I’ve ever had.” I narrow my eyes at him.

  The waitress brings over a bottle of tequila. Kellen pours everyone a shot. “To us,” he says and we toss our glasses back.

  I push my plate away, looking at the masses of shot glasses and the empty bottle on the table. Audrey burst into laughter, slurring that we should go dancing. Kellen rests his face in his hands while I laugh at her.

  We take a cab to the nearest club, Kellen is clutching Audrey’s arm as she stumbles through the door.

  “What do you want to drink?” William shouts in my ear over the music.

  “Red Bull and Vodka.” He turns to Kellen with a questioning look; he shakes his head dismissing him.

  “You’re not drinking?” I ask.

  “Nope.” He looks at Audrey; she’s leaning on his arm fighting to keep her eyes open. I watch their interaction, smiling. He lifts her head from his shoulder and leans over to whisper in her ear. She nods and he stands to help her from the stool.